Sometimes goodbyes are hard, but not this time. We said farewell (or as it good riddance!?) to this one today…
We bought it as an upgrade from our very very old Toyota Corolla. We were excited about the space that the new car would provide for our family and the reliability of being a good 10 years younger than the Toyota.
But as with many things in life, circumstances involving this car did not go as expected and we found ourselves pouring tons of money into it from the very start. I found myself wavering between anger, frustration, exasperation and tiredness. We didn’t even have the chance to try to sell our other car since the new one was constantly in the shop.
Starting in April, we tried to sell the car and had several serious buyers fall through at the very last minute. It was so frustrating. Then we brought it to a mechanic/dealership and found out that there was actually so much wrong with it that we couldn’t possible sell with integrity. So they bought it off us today for a ridiculously little amount of money to fix all the problems (at least I really hope they will fix all the problems first ) and then re-sell.
Now we are at the end of this journey, and while I am bummed that this was how it unraveled, I confess it has taught me a lot and has revealed to me (and to my husband 😳) ugly parts of my heart:
-I crave reliability
-When things don’t go the way I expect, hope or want, I am easily frustrated and angered.
-I don’t trust God enough with my finances.
-I cling to too many things/idols that I shouldn’t.
-External circumstances shake me.
Things I had to remind myself of/was reminded of during all of this:
-Nothing is truly mine; all things are gifts that I have been given/entrusted with.
-It’s just stuff/money, none of which I can take with me to heaven…so hang onto them loosely.
-Having things (a bigger, newer car) do not define me
-God provides–we have never been in want this year.
-Consider it a bad investment (all investments take risk) and move on.
-The amount of money we get back from the dealership today is “x” amount more money than we had yesterday.
So today we walk away with a little money in our pocket, feeling relieved and trusting that this was all a part of God’s plan to help us not cling to things of the earth so tightly and to live simply.
As we’ve thought more about what it means to live simply, we have started purging toys and clothes, but I’m trying to find other ways I can cut back and live more simply. What does living simply mean to you? I’d love to hear your ideas.